Evening Hosts Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Plan

TV's prominent entertainers used the airtime criticizing former President Donald Trump's newly announced immigration initiative, called the "Trump card," portraying it as a blatant cash-for-residency system for the affluent.

The Late Show's Witty Spin

Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a satirical holiday song directed at the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... spoils each thing he touches."

The subject was the controversial program which enables overseas citizens to acquire U.S. legal status for an investment of a million dollars, or "premium" option for 5 million. The program's page pledges approval "faster than ever."

"One thought for you to wealthy foreigners: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the card is also meant to "extract cash" from companies wanting to hire skilled workers, requiring hefty fees. "That's a lot of fees, however if you sign up, you additionally get free accommodation at a hotel of your choice – if it's the that one hotel," he added.

"Unprecedented vetting the government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals truly qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choice."

"It might be time to change that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the simplicity of the application, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"That's right, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping poll ratings amid financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a another term because they were upset about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a effort to discuss cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, and reacted peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking right-leaning news coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.